TO BE HAPPY you have to know the difference between healthy and unhealthy sacrifice. Healthy sacrifice is giving up something that is not helpful or smart for something that is. For example, stop saying "yes" to everyone or cut your "to-do" list in half. Quit trying to please everyone and stop denying your own needs. Unhealthy sacrifice is when you sacrifice your happiness, your health or your integrity for someone or something else. The reason this type of sacrifice is so unhealthy is that it doesn't work in the long run for you or anyone else.
BE HAPPY EXERCISE: When you try to play the martyr, you lose and so does everyone else around you. One way to undo unhealthy sacrifice is to focus on receiving. People who are caregivers tend to be better at giving than at receiving-and this imbalance is what inevitably leads to exhaustion and unhappiness. Your assignment today is to be more open than usual to letting life support you and people give to you. Being a good receiver is what helps you to give fully of yourself without giving yourself away.
Caring Today Magazine
Winter 2010
Dr. Robert Holden
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